Hello, Saturday night.
I can feel your glitzy lights and reverberating beats beckoning but what I want most now is to die. To be enveloped in silence. No laughter. No tears. Only nothingness.
I think of ways that I can die. One that will leave me untraceable as though I disappear with the night. It will be perfect if no one feels my absence and with time, not even memory remains. Maybe I will just be an unfamiliar face in a dream.
I revel in this morbid thought until it starts to fade away; drag myself up onto my feet and change into a silver cocktail dress. As the fingers of Death slowly slips away, I am overcome by a sense of void. A void that aches for Death to come crawling back from the nether regions of my mind. The pain is so real that it is crippling. I reach out to light a cigarette and down a glass of scotch; grab the car keys and drove out into the warm Saturday night.
Do you see Death when you laughed along with me to my silly antics?
Do you hear Death behind every sweet nothings that I whisper into your ears?
Do you feel Death when you hold me near?